The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away...

...blessed be the name of the Lord!  

Sunday, August 4th, 2013 started off like a normal Sunday in our household other than for a few differences.  The first was that I didn't need to get up extra early because my grandma, who had been suffering with Alzheimer's for many years, didn't need fed.  She stopped eating anything on Friday but had only a few nibbles each morning a week before that.  We knew her life was coming to an end but thought it was probably a week or 2 away.  The second difference was the rush to get the last minute things done to have company after church.  I know it was a little odd to plan a party during this time but I think the week before the party would have been very long if we hadn't had something to look forward to and plan for.  

On this morning, my mom was in with my grandma making sure she was comfortable, when she choked really bad (which had been happening) and it scared her.  Mom decided to remain home from church to be here with my grandpa in case she choked again.  

During the singing before the sermon, I kept hearing lovely phrases about heaven and the joy and peace we have in Christ so it was really hard for me to sing and I had to choke back the tears many times.  The songs really touched my heart and made me rejoice in God and thank Him for caring so deeply for His people.  

We didn't stay for the shared meal but rushed home to help mom get things ready for the 50 people that were coming that afternoon.  People began arriving and the fellowship was so sweet!  God's people are amazing and such a comfort to those who are hurting!  The party was a huge balm to our souls!  We all checked on her often throughout the day, loving on her.  Everyone enjoyed long games of volleyball in the hot sun, we had a sprinkler for the younger children to romp in, the ladies sat in the back yard talking and playing with babies.  After dinner the guys wanted to head to the creek to go swimming so us girls and a couple moms decided to go with them and cheer them on.  Before we left I went to check on my grandma and turn on some hymns for her to listen to.   I knew she was dying, even if it was slowly so I turned it down rather low so it wouldn't bother her.  When I checked her I noticed she had a long pause between each breath and when she did breathe I heard a rattling sound in her throat.  I didn't think much of it at the time because she had issues with mucus in her throat for a month, but later I realized what it was.  The death rattle, but that can go on for a couple days before they die.  I loved on her and told her I loved her, rubbing her face and arms. I didn't know at the time but that was the last time I was ever going to see her living in this world...

We headed to the creek.  Most of the people piled in Taylor's truck but my dear friend Michelle and I decided to walk since trying to make room wasn't looking too promising.  We had a lovely talk and she asked me how I was doing knowing my grandma was dying.  She sweetly asked how she could pray for me.  I was touched and felt so blessed!  Everyone laughed a ton and enjoyed the creek, watching everyone play and swim in the water.  After hauling everyone out of the water and getting them home, the younger guys took on the dads for a game of volleyball.  There were a lot more younger guys but the dads won!   We enjoyed watching the challenging game.  

When that was over it was almost dark so we turned on the flood lights and pulled out the cd player for dancing!  We had quite a group join in and we all had a lovely time.  The mosquitos  didn't stop us!  A couple families headed out but we decided to continue dancing.  Between  dances we were catching our breath when Mrs. H came up to me and told me sweetly but with some seriousness that my mom needed me in my grandma's room.  I must have asked if grandma was okay because she said "Just go".  I didn't know at that point if she was gone or just nearing the end but when I got to the kitchen I saw Nathan, a friend of ours, looking really sad and I knew then by the look on his face that she was gone.  I ran the rest of the way right into my daddy's arms.  They said yes, she is gone.  No more pain!  No more sin!  No more sickness! But oh!  The pain in our hearts!  But the joy welled up in us when we thought of her being in the presence of God!   The door between our house and grandpa's was shut letting our family, along with David and Keslie, cry in each others arms.    We all hugged and kissed the woman we loved all our life and said good bye to her.  We loved her!  Oh, our hearts ached!  After a bit I turned on "It is Well with My Soul" and we all sang along with it while grandpa sat crying and holding his wife's hands.  It was precious beyond imagination!  Those moments of being together as a family, mourning the loss of this person we all dearly loved, will never be forgotten.  After a while we tried to dry our eyes and mop up mascara streaks and went out to our friends.  What a reunion!  We came out and the whole crowd of people were gathered in our kitchen and dining room waiting for us.  I walked into Michelle's arms and we cried together for a long time.  There were tears from nearly everyone in the house and we felt greatly loved when one after another of our friends hugged and comforted us.  They were amazing!  God was so good to make this day and evening such a blessing even though we lost our grandma.  My head was in a whirl, my knees were weak and I didn't know what to do, but our dear friends jumped in and cleaned the kitchen.  One guy grabbed the vacuum from me and vacuumed the kitchen and dining room.  After seeing the mob of people working in the kitchen I went out back to pick up from the party.  Much to my surprise and delight it was clean!  Wow!  A few guys followed me and were able to carry in a few pieces of furniture and tell me not to pick anything up but to let them do it.  What a joy!   The rest of the evening was spent talking and praying together and then good-byes were said among our friends.  We enjoyed the company of 3 of them for a while longer which was a huge blessing because we were just waiting for our dear hospice nurse to get there and the funeral home to arrive.  After they took her body away David and Keslie got their brood into their van and went home.  

It is still hard to believe she isn't here with us anymore.  No more morning feedings, no more turning her every 2 hours 24-7.  No more changings.  No more stroking her face and rubbing her hands.  But instead those sunken cheeks we used to kiss are no more, her shriveled hands we loved on are gone and her tiny lips are forever smiling giving forth their warm radiance!  Once more she can worship her God with her voice and now her tiny feet are whole and can dance to the tunes of heaven!  

There were so many wonderful details God worked out so perfectly during the evening that we are brought to our knees in thanksgiving to God for His plan.  The first thing I remember thinking was that she died while we were dancing!  She always was the life of the party and loved to sing and dance and have a wonderful time.  She died during a party and a dance!  I know she heard us dancing, laughing and the music because her window was open because of the heat.  Little things like that are so special and make us so happy!  

The last couple of days have been filled with funeral plans.  The funeral will be held near our home and then burial one more mile down the road.  From there everyone will be coming to our home for a meal.   My grandpa is doing well and we're always making sure he's okay.  Right now there is so much to do but I'm sure that when things slow down he'll have a harder time.  But that is what we're here for!  To keep him young and happy!  He has been such an amazing example of a loving and faithful husband who loved her till death did them part.  For 59 years they were married!  You can read a tribute I wrote for them HERE.  

"How lovely is your dwelling place,
    O Lord of hosts!  My soul longs, yes, faints

    for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.  Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,    where she may lay her young at your altars, O Lord of hosts, my King and my God.  Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise!"  Psalm 84:1-4